| | so some of you may not know, but im emo. no kidding.
i feel like i want to just blame the world for everything that's happened, but i can't. i read a book to my client the other day.. it's called "diary of a worm." in it, it says that "the world gives us everything we need." i truly believe that. how can i blame the world, when all it's done is give me my life?
people can point fingers, people can whisper among themselves, people can gossip, and people can argue.. but what good does it do? i understand some people are completely full of it. and man, that crawls under my skin. how can people can be so self absorbed and ignorant...? whatever. who am i to say.
anyway, this month has had it's downs. ive never felt such hurt in a long time. it wasnt only pain from physical death, but pain from moral and righteous death. how do i know what's right? how do i know what's wrong? we're all trying so hard to live our lives in this society, that we forget who we've become. have we become animals? AGH. i dont know. i wish and want to believe that my plea is innocent. but of course, im only human.
let it be known that people sure have found my achilles heel. and along with the pain of my body, i feel a heavy weight. heavier than ive ever felt before. i could never have imagined myself in this position. ever. i feel at my weakest right now; and if someone were to tap me, i'd break.
i think i need to look at the world, and remember that it gives me what i need. everything that's going on in my life is unnecessary. it's just so hard to trudge through it.
my dearest grandma, i loved you, but not to the extent i should have. i regret not doing more, but i look forward to having you ALWAYS by my side now.
i miss you so much. so so so much.
you've left this world because it doesnt deserve to have you.
Rest in the inifinite peace that you now have... June 10, 1925-June 4, 2009.
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| | Posted 6/27/2009 1:55 PM - 11 Views - 6 eProps - 4 comments
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